by Lizzy’s Take:
The follow-up to Cinderella (1977) had big stilettos to fill. What we got instead was a prince who can’t get it up, a kingdom obsessed with bush, and a musical fever dream so full of nudity, innuendo, and fairy tale corruption that it might have officially killed off the last shreds of my childhood.
Bo Peep: “What? Can’t you come?”
Prince: “Where are we going?”
I couldn’t make this up if I tried. It’s chaotic. It’s musical. It’s horny. And it’s shockingly watchable, especially while high.
👉 Recommended if: You like raunchy musicals, corrupted children’s stories, and want to experience what would happen if the Muppets were possessed by Penthouse.
🚫 Skip it if: You want your fairy tales with less porn and more plot.
The Plot (Kind of)
This royal mess opens on a prince who turns 21 and is expected to get laid immediately so he can sire an heir. Except there’s a problem: he’s, uh… not rising to the occasion. The doctors are baffled. The kingdom’s upset. The prince? Just vibing. Turns out the only thing that gets his gears turning is a painting of Sleeping Beauty.
So naturally, he sets off on a quest to find her. Or, you know, anyone who can fix his broken joystick. What follows is less of a coherent narrative and more of a musical horny carnival with every fairy tale character imaginable offering to help.
The Musical Orgy of It All
This movie really said, “What if Schoolhouse Rock was naked and drunk?”
We’ve got:
- Snow White bemoaning the size of her dwarfs (“no taller than my titties” is a direct lyric),
- Bo Peep bringing sheep and seduction,
- A literal house in the shape of a shoe run by a brothel madam named Gussie Gander (a nod to the old woman with way too many kids and no birth control), and
- A fast-talking character named Sirus, a “P.I.M.P.” who delivers medical diagnoses for limp princes.
Also, we need more naked musicals. I stand by that. Especially ones with cheesy sax solos and upbeat chorus numbers about erections.
Eddie Edwards Is Back (Sort Of)
If you watched Auditions (1978) like I did, you’ll immediately recognize the vibes (and some faces). Tommy Tucker, played by Robert Staats (aka “Eddie Edwards”), guards the pleasure house door like he’s auditioning for vaudeville—but naked. He has exactly the same energy as in Auditions, and I honestly love that for him. The shared DNA across these movies makes them feel like a low-budget, sex-fueled cinematic universe.
The Cast Is Wild
- Angela Aames makes her film debut as Bo Peep, and she is working the corset and innuendo like she was born for it.
- Sy Richardson returns from Cinderella, this time not as the fairy godmother but as a delightfully shady sidekick who says things like “If your instrument don’t work, I’ve got a band to back it up.”
- Linnea Quigley pops in at the end as Sleeping Beauty—topless, silent, and ethereal. It’s her film debut, and honestly? Queen behavior.
- Martha Reeves (yes, from Martha and the Vandellas) sings a solo as Aunt La Voh, some kind of voodoo fairy godmother who deserves her own spinoff.
There’s also a cameo from Professor Irwin Corey, some uncredited little people actors probably roped into dwarf duty, and every single actor from your local cabaret show.
What Worked:
✅ The songs, which were WAY better than they had any right to be
✅ The sheer variety of body types—there’s more bush here than a 1970s lawn
✅ The fact that it commits, 100%, to being the horniest bedtime story ever told
✅ Bo Peep. I love her. I would die for her.
What Didn’t:
❌ The plot. Let’s be honest—this thing has all the structural integrity of a soggy pop-up book.
❌ The jokes don’t always land (though they try very hard).
❌ The pacing drags in the last act—like, even the Prince seems bored.
❌ If you’re watching this sober, you might feel deeply alone.
Final Verdict:
Fairy Tales (1978) is like watching a burlesque show put on by people who failed out of clown school and ended up at an orgy instead. It’s dumb, messy, kind of brilliant, and definitely not for children—or anyone expecting narrative consistency.
But if you’re looking for something weird, musical, sexy, and stupid in the best way, Fairy Tales might be your new favorite bedtime story.
Just maybe don’t watch it with your childhood memories still intact.
