by Lizzy’s Take:
Third time’s the charm? Doubtful. I’ve watched Laserblast twice now and still can’t tell if I’ve actually seen it or just hallucinated the whole thing in a desert fever dream.
This is Charles Band’s early sci-fi tantrum of a movie—teenage angst, alien lasers, and stop-motion lizard turtles. It’s got everything a late-’70s drive-in flick could want… except maybe attention span. Mine included.
“What if Carrie had a ray gun and also nothing made sense?” — probably someone on set
👉 Recommended if: You love MST3K punchlines, stop-motion reptiles, or watching someone get progressively greener and angrier with each scene.
🚫 Skip it if: You expect structure, momentum, or any narrative energy beyond “guy finds alien gun, wrecks town.”
The Plot (Generous Term, Honestly)
Billy Duncan (Kim Milford) is your standard alienated teen, bullied by cops, nerds, and plot holes alike. Then he finds a space cannon and pendant in the desert—like one does—and proceeds to vaporize anything that annoys him. As he shoots more things, he starts to mutate and go full space-goblin. His girlfriend is there, mostly to look worried. His enemies include the town sheriff, a government agent, two reptilian aliens, and puberty.
It’s basically Death Wish with a glow stick.
Stop Motion Stars of the Show
The most compelling characters in this movie don’t speak and only show up in five scenes. I’m talking about the stop-motion aliens—beautifully janky lizard puppets animated by David W. Allen, in what would be the start of a long B-movie romance with Charles Band. They show up, they do their weird bobblehead dance, they kill a guy, and then vanish for most of the movie.
Frankly, the aliens should have had top billing. They emote more than the human lead.
Also shoutout to the alien spaceship, built by Close Encounters effects wizard Greg Jein, which looks great considering the film’s budget was approximately three empty soup cans and a slap.
Cast Breakdown (a.k.a. Who’s In This Thing?)
- Kim Milford as Billy: Blandly hot. Looks like a knockoff Luke Skywalker. Turns green and shoots people. Not much else to report.
- Cheryl “Rainbeaux” Smith as Kathy: His girlfriend, who has one expression: confused concern.
- Gianni Russo as a government agent: Yes, Carlo from The Godfather is here investigating alien violence. No, I don’t know why either.
- Roddy McDowall: Shows up for one day as a doctor, collects his check, and leaves. King behavior.
- Eddie Deezen: Yes, the voice of Mandark from Dexter’s Lab makes his film debut here as a nerd named Froggy. He gets blown up. You’re welcome.
What Worked:
✅ Stop-motion aliens
✅ Cheap pyrotechnics that repeat the same explosion 3 times for “emphasis”
✅ The spaceship is legit cool
✅ The fact that someone saw Star Wars and thought, “we can do that for $12 and a dream”
What Didn’t:
❌ Everything else
❌ Dialogue that sounds like it was written by ChatGPT with a concussion
❌ Acting so stiff the laser gun had more range
❌ Watching this twice and still needing to ask, “Wait, why is he green now?”
❌ Narratively speaking, this thing is flatter than the desert it was shot in
Legacy & Cult Status
Laserblast is maybe best known now as the film that got roasted on MST3K’s Comedy Central finale—which tells you everything. The show spent 90 minutes dragging this movie into oblivion, and honestly, that’s the best way to experience it.
To its credit, it was Charles Band’s first stop-motion showcase, which laid the groundwork for future weird puppet franchises like Puppet Master. Plus, David Allen’s creature work was actually praised… by everyone who wasn’t watching literally everything else happening in the film.
It’s a movie about rage, alien weapons, and 70s teen rebellion, except with zero pacing and lots of shirtless laser meltdowns.
Final Verdict:
If you’re doing a Full Moon deep dive or want to see where Band’s love of janky stop-motion began, Laserblast is essential. But be warned: you may watch the whole movie and still feel like you missed something. Or maybe that was the whole movie. Who knows.
At least the lizard guys showed up.
